Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
