I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
