We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i came on her dog
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
