Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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