If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
