Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
