Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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