I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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