oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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