Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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