I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
birth control should be required to get into college
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
