yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
