me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
