Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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