Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
