I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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