oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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