bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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