come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
