You're earring is so big in my mouth
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
