question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
