you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
