The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
