During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize