I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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