Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
