You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
