I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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