Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
