I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
