# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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