when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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