The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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