Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
