You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
