a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
