Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
