i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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