I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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