drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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