Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
