His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
