S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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