His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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