I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
