I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I love how my cats smell like pot.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Someone came in the potted fern
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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