wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
