I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
