Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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