idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
