Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
