Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
