dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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